you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
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