Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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