My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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