so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
