So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
