It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
