for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
