Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
