problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
And then he peed in my hair
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