Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
