I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
is wine microwaveable?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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