i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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