Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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