dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You did what with his pubic hair?
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