Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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