The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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