you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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