put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
