Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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