Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Less talking, more tequila
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
