No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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