Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
