I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize