I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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