I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Soap is not a condiment
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
