Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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