He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize