is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
