VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
