i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
