So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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