I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
