Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
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You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
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Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
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