Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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