Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
