I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
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I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
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I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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