apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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