I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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