found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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