dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Is Oprah even human
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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