my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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