We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
