I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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