dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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