If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize