you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
