hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
why is half of my head shaved?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
