Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
