your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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