Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
