My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
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it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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