my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
