Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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