Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
