I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
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