Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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