btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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