i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
